


Broken

by Clarrisani



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 07:06:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18310637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarrisani/pseuds/Clarrisani
Summary: Castiel returns to the bunker to find an upset Dean.





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Destiel Fresh Hits April 2019 prompt "Monster".
> 
> https://destielfreshhits.tumblr.com/

The bunker was quiet when Castiel arrived. It had taken him longer than expected to finish his personal mission, but he was satisfied with the overall conclusion. Moving down the staircase he couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps Sam and Dean weren’t home, but the fact that the lights were on told him otherwise.

“Dean? Sam?”

His voice echoed in the large space but he didn’t receive a reply. They were most likely in bed. It was late after all.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs Cas contemplated what he would do until the morning. His options were limited, but something he had come across on his recent travels had intrigued him and he had a feeling he had seen a book in the library that could help answer any questions that he had about it. The library it was then.

Cas’ footsteps were loud in the deathly quiet of the bunker, a faint warm breeze coming from the library as he entered. He stopped when he caught sight of a familiar form hunched over the table, and judging by the amount of empty beer bottles Dean Winchester had been there for some time.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean didn’t reply, instead focussed on a spot on the table. There was a furrow to his brown that Castiel had long come to be familiar with; something had gone wrong on the last hunt. Castiel sighed, abandoning his quest for the book and instead crossing over to where Dean sat. He contemplated just staying standing, feeling awkward as he hovered. He eventually made the decision to pull up the seat beside Dean and sat down.

Dean glanced up at him, Castiel spotting a sadness in his eyes. “Why do we do this, Cas?”

Castiel frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, why do we do this? What’s the point of it all?” Dean took another long drink from his bottle. “We just make things worse.”

Something had definitely gone wrong. “Because you like helping people.”

“But do we, though?” Dean shook his head. “I can’t help thinking sometimes that maybe we’re the monsters.”

“You’re not a monster, Dean,” Castiel said. “You’ve saved countless people-“

“And killed them,” Dean said. “We don’t even bother to exorcise demons anymore; we just gank the vessel. What does that makes us?”

“Those demons would have killed people,” Castiel pointed out.

“ _We_ kill people,” Dean countered.

Castiel frowned, trying to read Dean’s face but I was fixed in a blank look. Dean had emotionally shut down, making his expression hard to read. Cas could tell that while Dean had drank a lot he wasn’t completely drunk, at least not yet. Most likely some of the bottles sitting on the table belonged to Sam.

“What happened, Dean?”

“Hunt went to shit,” Dean admitted. “We thought we had it. It was just going to be an easy one; go in, kill the demons, get out. Save the town, you know. But that last demon… it possessed a baby, Cas. It possessed a baby, and we killed it.”

Ouch. Cas watched as Dean drained the last of his beer before reaching for another one, easily popping the cap on the edge of the table.

“You would have exorcised it if you’d had the chance,” Castiel reassured him.

“Would we, though?’ Dean shook his head. “I just saw a demon and I killed it. Then the demon in the mother escaped and she just started screaming.” Dean shook his head, rubbing his eyes. “She wouldn’t stop screaming.”

Castiel reached out and rested a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean, you did what you had to do.”

“I just…” Dean let out a shaky breath. “It just happened so fast. I just saw black eyes and reacted.”

“You killed a demon.”

“I killed a baby. A baby, man. She couldn’t have been more than two years old.” Dean’s voice wavered. “She was coming at me and I just reacted. I should have tried to catch her in a circle or something. But I just reacted with blade first, ask questions later. She was just a baby.”

Castiel reacted on instinct, sliding his hand across Dean’s shoulder blades and pulling him into an awkward sideways hug. Dean let him, burying his face into Cas’ shoulder. Cas could feel the collar of his shirt moisten as Dean’s tears soaked into it.

“You are not a monster, Dean,” Castiel said softly. “You did what you had to do.”

Dean didn’t reply, and Castiel held him as he cried.


End file.
